Sunday, 24 February 2008

The world in whole - As seen in the eyes of an MMORPG Traveller

Greetings, Helegaradon Sihniliophinopopolos here and I'm writing this Journal to examine how different cultures and worlds treat Nature, Work and each other, first off, we will take a look at a few of the various races I have encountered during my journey throughout various worlds. Enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Races & Factions
Chapter 2 - Professions & Jobs
Chapter 3 - Nature and the world around
Chapter 4 - Conclusion


While it is true that there are many strange and wonderful races throughout the many varied worlds, very few are capable of the most basic of Human expressions, laughter seems to be the most common, along with dancing/fun, which are often displayed in tandem. Of the many worlds, you can usually find certain elements common between them, despite them not ever being in contact with each other, such as beards, accents and size. For example, almost every world has Elves, these people are usually rather tall, live long long lives (some are even stated to be immortal) and have pointy ears, superior egos and heightened emotions, meanwhile, Dwarves are more commonly found to have large beards, pride for the large beards, have a love of battle and speak in gruff Scottish accents. More detail on a few sample races I have observed through my Incredi-Sized Multi storage trans-world teleportational drirections travel device will follow the end of this sentence, as in, now.

Dwarves are mainly small folk, around waist height, but don't let that fool you, their heart and might more than make up for their size. A single Dwarf, fully armored charging into a battle (which is another common point across the worlds surprisingly) can strike fear into the most battle-hardened foe. Dwarves seem to have more "health" than most other races, meaning they can often withstand many hammer and arrow blows to the face, which you will agree, is an excellent ability to have in a tight corner. Most Dwarves take up fighting roles, using weapons up to 3 times their size to destroy their enemies, some however, take up the roles of Hunters, using a variety of distance based weaponry, some have mastered the ability to create guns, while others have to stick with Bows and Crossbows. A Dwarf can most likely be found with a Huge bear and a mug of Ale after a hard day of murdering small animals for pieces of skin (yet another common point, which will be mentioned later on)

Ahh, the Elf, tall and immortal (occasionally.) Elves usually live in trees or out in the wild, they feel a strong bond to nature, you see, this much is common on all of the worlds I have visited. Elves are most likely to be found as Hunters, again, in common with other worlds, most seemed to be named using the following letters:
There is not usually much variation in the way they are put together, they mainly start with L and end in S, with multiple vowels in between, however, this seems to anger most of the worlds that they occupy, perhaps a Deity of a distant past had the same name and is now feared or hated, perhaps there are just too many Elves name in similar style that it just gets annoying and frustrating, who knows? I do believe it requires further study though.

Trolls are primarily shunned for being evil, while some are just bitter for various reasons, some can truly be described as evil, if you can't fully see their path. Trolls are mainly caste in Shamanistic roles, Witch doctors, Rain callers etc, but they go much deeper than that, in many ways, some Trolls have more in common with Elves than they do with their Fellow allies. Trolls seem to come in many different sizes, some are Huge lumbering war machines, intent on smashing or crushing anything they come across, others are around 6ft (add 3ft for their hair as well)

Orcs, like Trolls are caste as Evil, but much like the Troll, they are bitter about the way their luck has been pretty much none existent. Some Orcs however, are evil, they display only their base needs - Kill and feed. orcs are hard to describe as many worlds feature them, they are usually found in a warrior style role, smashing Dwarves and rabbits about with giant weapons.

Humans are found on pretty much all the worlds, and again, can be found in Good and Evil roles. Humans seem to show the least intelligence between the races. Some will follow you needlessly for hours upon hours and when you finally confront them, they just laugh and start their long walk back to wherever they came from. Some Humans enjoy speaking in an abbreviated manner, this seems to annoy many people, often resulting in threats of physical violence. Humans are usually strong fighters or magic users as it makes up for their lack of intelligence and makes them feel ever so slightly less insignificant.
So, there are a few of the Races I've encountered so face, of course there are many, many more out there, often similar in appearance to each other, although there are rules, some look feline in appearance, while some have canine features, one particular race seems to resemble bovine, but standing on their hind legs, most have tails. I like their tails, tails are good.


Of all the worlds I have visited, there are two things in common to each and every race - 1: Complete and utter laziness, 2: Greed. Let me explain.
People who have something they want doing, but are too lazy/stupid to do for their selves are gifted with some variety of icon above their heads. This icon seems to draw people to them, kind of a sirens call, the promise of [Rat face Boots of Endurance +8] is to tempting for some and they will blatantly go out of their way to obtain whatever the person needs. In theory, this is a superb money making scheme - Having people do stuff for you in 126 simple Quests - This, however, is where the greed comes in, I meant really, how many [Bunch of Random Plants] does anyone really need? Is there a list that has the right amount? Would it look like a straight line with "Not enough" at the start and "Plenty" at the end?
No. It wouldn't because it seems people are content in running the same "quest" for years on end, massing and huge stockpile of random items that they can sell off to the highest bidder. These so-called quests are no easy feat either, especially the ones based around killed an arbitrary number of generic creature 14, due to the way they have evolved, which is described in the next chapter. In all then, people you meet in the world will always have something for you to do because they can't be bothered doing it themselves. My advice, in closing of this chapter would be to avoid them like the plague, the tasks they give will be tedious and take nothing short of years to complete.


As I mentioned in the last chapter, the worlds have evolved in such a way that everything is dangerous, be it water or trees, something WILL want to kill you, and given half a chance they will. Most creatures have developed the ability to make you walk slow, in an annoying way. This is so they can catch up and murder you in whatever manner they choose. I mentioned as well that killing these creatures for tasks can be a tedious task, this is why:

Feline style creatures - No skulls or bones, Fur disintegrates when you try and pick it up, No Blood or internal organs.
Canines - Eyes not present, heads vanish once they die, no feet, teeth missing.
Humanoids - No hands, Ears, blood, skin, heads, feet or beards.

These rules only apply to around 89% of the population, some still retain traits such as blood and skulls, others wont. This is why it is tedious and annoying, the call of the quest giver is strong, and again, I urge you all to not try and do anything for these lazy idiots, unless you like banging you head repeatedly into a hedgehog at 40 minute intervals.


So here we are, the conclusion at last. While all the worlds are varied enough to hold the interest for the avid explorer, the dangers out way the rewards. Travel to these worlds at your own peril, It will cost you a fortune and you will come out of them enjoying the feeling of metal spikes being jammed into your temples, I know I do. So in closing, Avoid, watch a movie, each a cabbage, fluff a squirrel, just don't go into these world hoping to find something interesting, there is only death.
Helegaradon Sihniliophinopopolos signing out.

Monday, 11 February 2008

Mean Machine

I've finally decided it's about time I posted one of the Wombat's old Garry's Mod videos from a time when we actually used to play it.

Saying that, we have over the past couple of weeks been playing it again, though most of the time we've spent in it has been been either shooting Dr. Breen a helluva lot (did I just use the word 'helluva'?) or attaching thrusters to hoverboards and pissing ourselves laughing at the hilarious deaths that entail. Not that either of those are bad things mind.

But to the point of this post. Today I stumbled upon the My Videos folder on this here computer and found a 'Games' folder lurking inside. In which there are a bunch of old Garry's Mod videos from late 2006. Again, mainly just videos of killing Dr. Breen and the like but one in particular is what I deem to be our finest work to date.

Entitled 'Mean Machine,' it shows an old rusting wheelless APC which we brought back to life by giving it some big new wheels, a nice olive green polish, some new headlights, and a battering ram to be used for clearing the road of any zombies or Dr. Breens who might happen to be standing in the way (ie. a lot).

Made in late summer 2006, it is to date the most productive thing we have done in Garry's Mod. It came about when I was unemployed for 2 or 3 months following an unwelcome stint at Birmingham Aluminium (watch The Machinist to get an idea of what it was like to work there). I quit when they laid upon me a shift pattern of Monday to Thursday 6am to 6pm.

A week or so after I quit I bought a brand new £1000 PC and sat there most of the day doing nothing but drinking Tea, eating ham and cheese sarnies, and playing Garry's Mod. I soon realised I had about £100 to my name and £600 rent to pay in less than two weeks. So we made this:

Friday, 1 February 2008


Right to the point in this blorg title.

This is something that has been on my mind all week, we really need a new system of measuring things, I personally don't care much for such words as Millimeter's, Centimeter's, Inch's or meters. I hate having to work out whats what when measuring stuff which happens once in a pink sphere that it just gets on my nerves persistently and I end up hitting stuff, damn measurment systems...Anyway, I have devised a way that will benifit everyone - The Loyal Tube

Tubes! i dont hear you cry, whats the point? Well, tubes are everywhere and you can find them in almost all situations and they always come in handy, so here is the measurment systtem in broken math format as I also dislike anything numerical, like dinosaurs.

Tube = (Length x Height = size)
Size = (Does not matter)

As you can see, any tube can be used in any situation as it doesn't matter what size it is! Ingenious you don't say! Here is an example:

Measuring a building used to be hard using a 30cm Ruler, or for the posh amongst you all, a straight edge, now, with tubes, tedium is a thing of the past. By using a large tube you can stack them up against the building and say "Oh! It's 500 tubes high, Huzzah!" while with small tubes, you can say "Oh! It's 2,846 tubes high, Huzzah!"

Tubes will change the way science views nothing in particular, so do your duty, expose tubes to the world today to make a better future for yesterday!