Sunday, 9 December 2007

Back to Rapture

Another late night blorg from moi, and now I've found the setting that changes the time format so it no longer says I've been writing these in the early afternoon.

Crysis (yes that dreaded word again) has been completed, t'was very good, it does what it says on the proverbial, but that's all I'm writing about it. I've now moved back to BioShock. I did complete this within a week or two of it's release but was left somewhat underwhelmed by the whole affair. The reason for this I couldn't quite explain, so I put it down to the crashes I suffered every half an hour whilst playing the game. I then updated my video card drivers to stop the crashing, which worked, but still felt mildly unsatisfied by it. I then came across this blorg post, written in essay format, describing the inner workings of BioShock and it's story in great detail (please do read it if you have an hour spare). It was written by someone who also felt slightly disappointed come the end of the game, and made me realise that many more people were feeling that way upon completion. Maybe that's the way it was meant to be?

So I decided to give it another go.

One thing I've always loved about the game is the way it looks, the shaders being the distinguishing factor, when light shines onto a tiled floor the gold shimmers in an awesome way. As you can see I've started taking some shots of the game and I will continue to do so until the end (and thanks to for showing me how to remove the HUD).

I've just arrived at the Medical Pavilion (I took that earlier, bloody love it), which leads me on to an anecdote from my first play through of the game. This was the first part of the game that scared the crap out of me. Half way through the Medical Pavilion level I ventured into Dandy Dental, this is around the first time you meet the Houdini Splicers, and I was having a good old snoop around and went into the dental surgery, only for my vision to go cloudy. Mildly disoriented I turned around a full 360 degrees and stumbled forward, my vision cleared again and I was greeted with a dentist's chair. This room had an air of ambivalence about it, so I thought I'd quickly check the table in the corner and get out of there. As soon as I got to the table my vision clouded over again so I hastily turned around to find the door, it was at that point that my vision cleared and standing right in my face was a masked Houdini Splicer. I panicked, but luckily I had my trusty wrench to hand and gave him a swift whack around the chops. He then disappeared into a flutter of red ashes and appeared outside the door whilst shouting some random abuse at me, I managed to catch up with him and proceeded to beat his head in a panicked rage a few more times before he finally fell silent to the floor.

Saturday, 8 December 2007

Spoons of the Ages

Quite a fitting title for what I am about to write about, since I've not wrote anything for a while because of what I'm about to write about...errr

So then, without further ado, I present "Spoons of the Ages - One Argonian and a Silver Spoon" which will not be in story format, but rather a tale of what happened and why it ultimately ended the life of a poor Argonian. By the way, this is about The Elder Scrolls 4 - Oblivion, just had to make that clear as my rambling may have missed that completely.

It all started in the town of Bravil, a run down dump, it was ideal for my Argonian due to the amount of water and people to steal from, rather it was until I murdered everyone I could lay my dagger into, still, that left a lot of empty, locked houses to case which is where the true story begins - How much do the Guards care?

I decided to test this theory, since there was no one to beat up bar punching rats in their stupid furry faces, I broke into one house and stole one item, a silver spoon, I then took it across the world to Chorrol and spoke to a guard.

Completely ignoring the fact that I had my dagger out and all the corpses around me, the guy took the logical step of trying to arrest me for stealing a spoon, now, I'm not sure how far telepathy goes, but I'm pretty sure none of the murdered people told them of my glorious deed and I'm sure the guards didn't send out a signal to alert everyone in the world of said deed. Perhaps everyone in Tamriel have their belongings electronically tagged for safety and convenience, yet they don't care when I stab them multiple times in the face.

I decide to go to jail and see what all the fuss is about, it seems a quite cosy place, no one else around though, I seem to have a lockpick that I decide to not use as it is late and my murdering has made me tired.

I get out and seem to have suffered some ability changes, it's hard to care though, a bit of anger rises in me so I stab a few rats to vent it out, which brings up another point, I was arrested, thrown in jail for a few days (spoon crime is a growing threat in a world where people cant use their mouths anymore) yet I get released with all my armor and the blood covered dagger I used to kill everyone with, not that I mind, saves me time looking for another.

I enter the Imperial City and see that there is one man walking around (not a clone guard) and I come to the conclusion that he was the one who squealed, I follow him for 13 days, learning his route, finding his house and taking on his habits. I break into his house one day while he is doing his daily wall staring exercises, and steal all of his belongings, right down to the blueberries he had on the table and the raw meat on the plates. I leave to punch some deer in the forests and return 3 days later, the guy isn't at his usual places so I go to his house. It seems that taking everything he had was just too costly and the urge to feed had came over him, his tables were full of fruit and meat, just lying there, uncooked and without a plate with just a spoon to eat with. I go outside and wait, his misery shall end tonight, the last man in the province and he has to use a spoon to eat raw meat with, it's a pitiful life. Being kind (heh) I go back in and steal what he has replaced and place one poisoned apple on his table, I go out and wait again, 2 days pass and the apple is still there, the man is nowhere to be found until by a freak chance I find him in a bush, dead, with 9 arrows in him, he was a hunter, and judging by the corpse of the forester near him, they had an epic battle, each was pierced with arrows, each left for the wilds...

I am now the last person alive (and this being the 360 version I can't use the mods that allows you to kill quest people) it's a lonely life so I head to his house, I leave a parchment and quill on his desk after pretending to write my confession and proceed to eat the poisoned apple, the effect takes hold, I fall back over the stool, dead.

This Argonians tale is over, next time they will all die by the warhammer of a frosty Nord named Alfred Bestlo...

All in all, that seems pretty crap now I'm looking at it, but I'm not bothered.

Monday, 3 December 2007

Short and greasy

I can't stop adding bloody useless crap to the side of the blorg.

You now have an option to subscribe to the blorg, and though it says we have 2 readers, one of them is indeed myself.

I also added a little bugger that plays my playlist, so if you want to hear what The Wombat listens to, click the big play button over there. A few songs I'm thinking are a tad heavy to listen to whilst you're reading this fine blorg. So I may amend it so it plays just Biosphere and Bohren und der Club of Gore (German doom jazz, if there is such a genre. Well, nothing else seems to fit them so that will do), and any other quiet electronic musics or 'post rock'. Everyone likes post rock so can't go wrong with that.

Edit: Now less Rocket From The Crypt, more wootin' ambience!

I was half way through writing more about Crysis, but got kinda bored with that idea, so yes I'm still playing it. I'll leave it at that.

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Title of blorg

Seems like only a day or two since I last blorged it large. We are two lazy insociable buggers so we rarely feel we have anything interesting to write. I'll have Toad get another blorg of nonsense on the go.

Tis probably quite obvious what I'm going to write about now, yes, Crysis. As you can tell I like to take my sweet time when playing games, and in Crysis all I seem to do is play for five minutes, stand around messing with the graphical settings and taking pictures for fifteen minutes, and then play another five minutes. Therefore, I have a total play time of 17 hours (and have just knocked WoW out of my top 5 at bloody last).

As a budding photographer (currently without a camera due to the fact that the battery life is shocking on my current one) I enjoy taking pictures in games too. I've built a fair collection of Crysis shots, all of which can be found here (newest ones at the bottom).

I'm also experimenting with panoramas in Crysis, vertical panoramas at least. I'm not the greatest photoshopper so I have to smudge the pictures together to get rid of the hard lines across the middle, they don't look too bad though.

The first one being when you come across the entrance to the mountain, and the second when you exit it. Check the truck at the left of the second pic for the sense of scale, looks most wootsome.

Time for a quick barth.


So I should be getting my passport through in the next few days as I'm heading to Canada for a driving holiday next May which will be ace. This got me and El Toad talking about a possible trip to Pripyat, Ukraine. Apparently they do tours to the city and around the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant, both shown in S.T.A.L.K.E.R. and moist recently Call of Duty 4 which we are both quite fond of. As of now there is a lack of funding/motivation stopping us from going, but if my car is still alive next year (I got it fixed by the way) it would be nice to take the 'Beast' (unofficial nickname for my car) on a trip across Europe.

Sunday, 18 November 2007

Crysis, snoo and dead cars

I'm not very creative when it comes to blorg titles so that's the best you're getting. And I apologise Mike for turtally screwing up your recent formula with this here third post in the space of 2 days.

Woke up rather hearly today as some noisy buggers came round at half 8 to install wooden flooring doonstairs. From that point on I sat half dead watching tedious Sunday morning television, until 11 when I decided it was time for more Crysis.

I'll try my best to avoid any spoilerage, hactually, there will no spoilers seeing as the other Wombat won't have this game until Crimbo. I resumed on the level 'Relic' and worked my way slowly up to the part of the map marked... erm, no this isn't going to work. OK I'll continue in the same fashion as I did yesterday. I'm still enjoying the battles with the Koreans. I was standing there in cloak mode watching them go about their business, and noticed a nice little touch, a few times now I've seen them running towards a fence or similar obstacle which they proceed to jump over and land flat on their face. It's funny watching how confused they get when you mess with the different settings on the Nanosuit, switch to cloak mode to get that funny "what the crap?" tone of voice.

I'm also having much fun blowing up anything and everything, every red barrel must be shot, every large white tank as seen in the villages must have 'nades chucked at 'em, every one of the Korean's cars must have that little petrol tank shot and the same goes for the big trucks.

So far I think it's most wootsome, and the intro to the 'Assault' level is bloody ace. Still not had a chance to battle the haliens yet, but I know it's coming.

Yes, it's quite randomly snooing here in Brumingham, can't quite figure why, hactually the fact that it's cold may have something to do with it. I like driving in snoo, so I agreed to go and pick up my sis from her hoose about 6 miles away to bring her here for our Sunday meal. On the way there all the little lights on my dashboard seemed to get gradually darker and darker, and the wipers almost ground to a halt. I soon realised that the battery was nearing the end of it's life. I got to my sister's and left the engine running, turned all unnecessary things off and was left with just the wipers and my headlights. So I had 6 miles to drive with my extremely dim headlights and near dead wipers. We somehow managed it, but the end of the journey is a pitch black country road, my windscreen was frozen and clouded, and lack of headlights meant I couldn't see a thing. Somehow came out of that unscathed and now my car sits out there dead in a few inches of snoo. May be quite difficult getting to worm tomorrow.

Shout out to Chris, who could have been part of the Wombat, but instead decided to get a life and go to University.

Saturday, 17 November 2007

Oh Lordy!

Mayhap it is time for me to also partake in this fine blorgage (not to be confused with mortgage, oh no) that Matt set up many months ago. As stated, we can't usally find the creativity greater than a squirrel trying to dodge cats and angry whales while (whales while! Aiee!) trying to grab food from the side of a space shuttle-uttle, I, myself have had different "free" sites and blogs for a while and all that have came out of them is 2 or 3 lines of text and maybe an image (Not to be confused with the F3 key on your archaic typing pad creation) So, creativity of 0 and a will, also of 0. As a result, the most creative things we make in sandbox games such as Gmod end up exploding or just plain not worming, which we still find funny and crash our servers out of spite/peppers.

As you, whoever you are, if you exist and read this, which I dont believe you do, do you? Anyway I digress so I shall get to my point, which I was going to make before I interupted myself, I am a random person, not random as in you can randomly pick me out of a crowd (try it and see!) but random in thought and speech, I find anything and everything hilarious unless its funny then I just smile, its the little things that make me guffaw like a Velociraptor, things like cats jumping on people or people jumping on cats, it matters not as it is humerous none the less.

This appears to be the most i've written in a whale, most recent were a series of short news stories that dried up quite quickly which none of you can find on our sparkling Steam community page located over there.

Not much else to say really, just a quirky fact, this blog is "maintained" by 2 people, there have been 2 posts in two months and I have just made the second post today, lets do the maths:

2 people = 2
2 months = 2
2 posts = 2
2 posts this day = 2

So 2+2+2+2 = 8

8, EIGHT, people, remember it...

Lazy buggers

Time for an update one thinks.

As you can see, The Wombat the lazy buggers we are have been so unbusy not playing games lately that we haven't got around to updating our blorg.

So what have we been doing? Me, playing Mafia, The Orange Box on both PC and hexbox 360, Woims Armageddon with Mike and my moist recent purchase Crysis (and soon a bit of World in Conflict - half price at GameStation ftw!).

As for Mike, as far as I'm aware, The Orange Box, which was then sold to make way for Call of Duty 4 and Hellgate London. Of course some Woims, and his moist recent purchase The Witcher.

In between these profusions of gaming, me and Mike have grown very fond of the channel Dave on freeview. I've been falling asleep to Biosphere, and have been listening to 'Curses' by Future of the Left indefinitely.

Crysis - Relic

Yes, so I've been playing Crysis for the past few hours. First impressions - good. Being honest I never really got that far in Far Cry, the majority of the time I spent in it I was dead, mainly due to the enemies shooting me in the head from the other end of the map, which I didn't find very fun. And the Trigens... In one word? 'Gah!'

But Crysis on the other hand is fun, the Koreans are good enemies, and I giggle every time one of them shouts "yankee shankeeeeeoooaah!". Granted I haven't got to the halien parts yet, even after 5 hours. I'm quite content in just wandering around aimlessly, looking at the lully scenery, and poppin the settings up to very high so I can take a few shots (which can be found here). I can't stay on very high settings too long unfortunately, I get 5fps when there's no action, and -1fps when I meet an enemy.

And that's all I can think to write at the moment. Stay tuned for 'Yorkshire Zombies' - a short story from Mike, which I've been promised will be finished sometime in the next 5 years.

Tuesday, 9 October 2007

The Basics - A formal introduction to the introduction of our introduction

And so, you have stumbled upon the blog of the mighty Wombat. What could you possibly expect to find here? Herein lies an introduction.

If you haven't yet read the 'about us' section to your right I suggest you do so. Done? Fine. First I will note down a few words from the language of the Wombat, and the translation.

Aiee! - Used in situations of mild panic
Woot - Said in times of joy (usually quite often)
Wppt - As an alternative to 'woot'
Twoot - Another alternative to 'woot'
Turtally - Totally
Beef - Goodbye (can also be 'in a beef')
Bugger - Burger
Burger - Bugger
House - Horse
Horse - House
Hose - Man with horse head at sea holding a cat (see below)

A Hose, yesterday.

Yabbit - Rabbit
Blorg - Blog
Monkey - Money
Worm - Work; "Does it worm?" "I am going to worm now, in a tit!"
Snog - Song
Sned - Send
Thee - You; "Could thee sned me that snog thee mentioned earlier? Donkey."
Donkey - Thank you
Murt - Used as offensive; A: Ouch, I just twunted myself in the pelvis. B: Thee is murt. A: Aye :(
Yorkshire! - As an alternative to shouting 'Kamikaze'
Chokie - OK
Chuppa - Cup of tea

To conclude, I finish with a small summary as to the purpose of this blorg.

As avid users of the inherently exquisite Garry's Mod, they will use this space to provide coverage of their pursuits within the game, in whichever form they see fit. Screenshots, Movies etc.