Monday, 21 October 2013

2 Years again...

Has it really been this long? 2 Years since we last graced the greyness of our wombat-shaped overlord? It has indeed! So what has happened in the past 2 years of note? Watch out girls, here come the bulletpoints!

  • First, our sun exploded in January 2012, not may people knew this as the armadillo workforce built a new one out of lost socks and eggs.
  • The sea (all of them, combined) are now classed as a living lifeform in the same way as Pluto, it was witnessed creeping onto the land in the dead of night and writing "land sucks" on homeless people and cats.
  • A group of international aardvark enthusiasts turned Rio's Christ the Redeemer into a giant Batman statue, this has not been undone and can still be seen to this day.
  • Brian Blessed started personally protecting badgers, hiding them inside his glorious beard, the wilderness is safe once more.
  • Spiderman was proven real, though he looks nothing like he is depicted as in the media.
  • Terrence of Somalia was crowned Norways most expensive suit in an underground cat battle with his 8-3 win against Chinese Paul.
  • Darash Onion was resurrected as part of the South African sniffbat league, she promptly won and was sent to the sky fortress of "You, right!"
  • The olympics kicked off with 4 countries trying to become egg & spoon champions, all lost. As a side note, Bill won the hotdog throwing by launching his at a small child in the car park.
  • Domestic climbing hamsters are now an endangered species.
  • Dogs have been found to contain unlimited power, solving all of the worlds energy problems, in response, Apple release an adaptor that you can use to plug your very own dog into a wall socket to power a house for a day.
  • Water and ostriches have been classed as Class A drugs and are banned in most countries.
  • July 2013 happened.
  • Paper based memory cards released, allowing you to write down an insane amount of information to later use.
  • Mobile phones confirmed to cure stubbed toes.
Thats pretty much all of concequence that happened in such a short timeframe, my favorite part was where everyone shifted half an atoms distance to the left.
Back in 2 years.