Saturday, 5 January 2008

Deer Hunters for a day, fools for a lifetime

We arrived in Pike, Illinois at the break of dawn. Mike turned up on his trusty steed 'LaRoo' and myself on a brand spankin' new quad bike. First we decided to test our gear. I ran straight to the nearest tree to set up my new high chair (with built in foot massager!), jumped on the bugger and sat to watch Mike set up his tent. We soon got bored sitting there pointing at each other and so decided to set off in quest of a 200lb white-tailed buck.

We got on our respective modes of transportation and headed south through the woods with our grunt call tubes lodged firmly in our mouths and made as much noise as humanly possible. We soon discovered this wasn't the way it was meant to be done so quickly and silently we both fell straight into prone position. We crawled along in this manner for a while until we realised we were both covered in warm deer crap, and thought there must be something close by. There was nothing but a lone squirrel staring confusedly at us which was duly slain by Mike and his Rifle.

We headed further south and came across a river, consulting the map we saw a dotted line through the river and decided to head towards that. It wasn't long before we came across a bridge (A Bridge!!!) and there was much rejoicing, and pointing for that matter. We stepped onto the bridge and had a little dance whilst moving over it. Mike noticed a huge eagle flying overhead and whipped out his rifle and fired all five shots at it with no luck, one blast of his shotgun took care of it though, and it fell into the river. We waded in and stared (and pointed) at the dead body. At this point we decided to split up.

I had my thermal goggles with me and saw some orange blobs though the trees so I snuck through (very professionally I might add) and there it was, the 200lb white-tailed buck. It had it's back turned towards me so I hid behind the tree and prepared to take my shot. I peeked round and it was still standing there silently, so I took aim and... Suddenly 3 gunshots from the left, it scarpered. It was Mike running towards me; deer call tube lodged in his gob, making an awful racket. We didn't see it again.

Somewhat disappointed at the lack of things to kill and longing for some action we felt it necessary to start shooting at cars on the nearby road, nothing came of this, the terrible shots we both are. We saw a farm house in the distance and set out towards that, I ran over a squirrel and Mike shot one, so it wasn't all bad. Unfortunately the farm house was empty, so our hopes of murdering the family were abruptly ended. Mike then decided to finger LaRoo while we watched a beautiful sunset.

1 comment:

Alaska Highway said...

The bridge was a bitch